Forty-two
David walked the slope beneath a leaden sky,
searching for his house in the gray mist. Dead things stirred beneath his
feet. Roots tore in the sod as they escaped their graves. The faster he
walked, the weaker he became. If he stopped, they would drag him into the
earth.
Jackie Kahl blocked his way, still wearing her
bloodied pink dress. David stopped.
"You're dreaming, David."
"I know, but I can't wake up."
The sun came out behind her. Brilliant amber light
filled the world, illuminating the stand of trees like a cathedral. She
gestured with a curt nod of her head toward the trees. "Want to play hide
and seek with me?"
She was trying to distract him from his nightmare,
which was nice of her. What he wanted was to sleep and not dream at all.
"Want to fly with my bird?"
In the next moment, he soared far over the slope,
above the towering trees even. He pumped his wings and climbed into the
blue, sunlit sky as high as he could go. When he looked down, he could
see both himself and Jackie Kahl watching. He spread his wings and began
circling the trees in a broad, lazy spiral.
On the ground, the pounding of his heart
didn't sound right. It didn't feel right. Something had gone terribly wrong. "I want my mother," he
said, and he dropped to his knees. His mother knelt before him
thinking sad thoughts that she could do nothing to help. Her long hair blew in
the gentle wind of the slope.
"Mom, I'm sick. Am I dying?"
In dreams, she could embrace him. When she opened
her arms, he held tightly to her. She was warm and soft and
her hair tickled the side of his face. Gently, she rocked to and fro and
patted his back. He tried to lose himself in her comforting cocoon of
love, but his chest was beginning to hurt.
She didn't answer him, and David grew even more
frightened. He broke away and looked up at her. "Am I going to die?" he
said again stridently.
"You have become ill."
"My valves aren't working no more? Dr. Varley told
Dad I'd die if that happened, but he said I could have an operation and
put new ones in."
"Do you believe he can?"
He had always refrained from acknowledging his doubts.
It wouldn't do any harm now. "I'm dying then," he said.
She held him firmly by both arms. "You will never
die. Your father will give you to the mirror before I will allow that to
happen. If it comes to that, you will visit another world, a much better
world than this, and in that place, death is entirely unnecessary."
"Just like I used to dream? But will you come with
me?"
"I can never leave this world, David."
"I don't want to go by myself!" he cried. "I want to
stay with my dad! I want you to stay, too!"
She held him tightly, and he sensed that she, too,
was very afraid. "It is what I want as well. I am nothing without you
and your father."
"But what are you going to do?" He pushed away from
her again so that he could see her eyes when she answered him.
"I am going to try to find a way to fix your broken
heart valves," she said. "Your father may not approve. He may not
understand, and it may be very dangerous. But I'll do what I must and
I'll try as hard as I can to make it work."
"But I want to help, too! I'll make Dad believe in
you! I need to wake up so that I can tell him how important it is to
believe in you!"
"There is one thing you absolutely must do for me,
David. You must face those things you fear the most. You have foreseen
the day of my resurrection, and your fear of it has become deeply ingrained
within you. I need a part of what I once was to live again. It must be
given to me of your own free will. It will be the one thing that will
prove to the mirror that you understand what it means to be human, and
that it understood what needed to be offered."
"But I'm the one that
doesn't understand!"
She just stared at him, her smile gone. "If we fail,
David, we may never see one another again. We should say our good-bye
now."
David pushed violently away. "No! I won't say
good-bye!"
"You won't say good-bye to your mother, David?"
But she wasn't his mother, and panic stirred inside
him. She had tricked him again. She had shown him that he was going to
lose her because he couldn't really believe. How could she expect that of
him? No matter how hard he tried, his real mother was dead and buried in
the ground. Dead things rotted away. She could never come back.
Dead things stirred again beneath his feet. They
grabbed for his ankle and David leaped aside with a shriek of horror. His
mother reached for him, but he shied from her as well. He would never be
able to pretend again. He was too afraid to try.
"David, you must sleep now. No more bad dreams."
He could feel himself beginning to fade away.
Her voice whispered like an echo in the universe.
"I need a part of what I was to live again. Please try not to be so
afraid."
